Unless It Had Been a Blind Dancing Llama with a Mullet

The afternoon couldn't have been stranger.
When we got home,
Eric shook his head in bewilderment.

We intended to find Kyler some new shoes
and then hike a nearby trail.
We stepped into the mall to check out a shoe store.
A stage was set up at the center of the mall
and a local performance studio was putting on a show.
When we walked by we were quite intrigued.
A man was singing a show tune, and he appeared to be blind.
He was blind.
He was really good.
And like fish in a river,
we were lured in.
We saw ballet dancers and singers.
We eventually managed to pull ourselves away for a few minutes,
quickly found Kyler some shoes,
and went right back to the show.
This time we found a bench in a perfect viewing area.
We watched a skit, break dancers, tap dancers, and more.
Eric was highly entertained by the young breakdancer with the mullet.
Though,
I think it was the mullet more than the dancing that did it for him.
The boys gave their full attention to all the performers.
Two hours later
we got up from that bench.
"I guess we're not going hiking," someone said.
We got in the car and started to drive
through the parking lot toward the street.
In front of Sears,
a man was walking his dog.
What a nice day to walk your pet.
We turned the corner.
A man and women were walking their pet Llama's.
What?!
Who takes their Llamas on a walk around the mall??
Wait, who has llamas??

With visions of performers
and llamas
dancing in our heads,
we got home,
grabbed some headbands,
and put on our own little show
with Eric acting as audience.
There was couch flipping, singing,
and dancing around the room.
If only we had our own stage . . .

Random afternoon?
I think so.

Public Transportation

As we stood on the corner,
Kacin kept checking his watch
and announcing

"4 more minutes . . .

3 more minutes . . .

2 more minutes . . .

1 more minute . . .

It should be here now!! . . .

Where is it?! . . .

Oh here it comes! I see it, I see it!"

The bus pulled up and opened its doors.

We climbed aboard the empty bus,
dropped a handful of quarters into the slot,
and Kyler led us to the seats in the very back.

Why were we riding the city bus?
Because it seemed like the thing to do with a free afternoon.
Every time we are out in the neighborhood and pass a bus stop,
Kacin is so intrigued and curious.
He has a million questions about the bus system
and checks each schedule.
So we planned a trip using public transportation.
A kind, thoughtful neighbor saw us waiting for the bus
and stopped to see if we needed a ride somewhere.
But our bus ride was strictly for fun and for the sake of adventure.

We turned the corner, and the shops and restaurants came into view.
I nodded to Kyler and whispered it was time.
He reached up and pulled the yellow cord.
Stop Requested lit up in red overhead.
The doors opened.
We smiled and thanked our driver
then stepped out onto the sidewalk.

We started our afternoon with a visit to the library.
The boys each picked a book.
We sat in the window seat as I read the two books to them.
As we were leaving,
Kyler pointed out a bookmark on display on the wall.
It was the one he had made at school
and submitted for the library's competition.
He felt like a famous artist with his work up for everyone to see.

We walked a little ways to a toy shop
to play on their train table and purchase some puzzle glue.
Then we were off to look around at the market.
After all that walking, we sure were ready for a treat.
At the doughnut shop,
Three maple bars, please.

We browsed at the book store for a few minutes
before heading to the restaurant across the street.
To pass the time, we had a Tic-Tac-Toe match.
We enjoyed our chips and salsa, burritos, and tostada
and talked about all that happened at school that morning.

When we came outside again, it was very dark.
According to Kacin's watch,
the bus was scheduled to come in 3 minutes.
No bathroom stops for us,
we had to hurry.
We arrived at the bus stop
only to wait and wait.
I don't know who was more anxious for that bus to come,
Kacin and Kyler
OR the guy waiting next to us
who had to listen to the boys belting out impromptu songs
about buses and mommy's hair.
But it had to be entertaining for him
when my 7-year old boy suggested,
"Let's do yoga while we wait!"
and proceeded to go into tree pose and Warrior II.

We had been waiting about ten minutes
when I saw the way Kacin was dancing around and
began to regret the decision not to make that bathroom stop.
Just when I was debating whether or not to leave the bus stop,
get this kid to the bathroom,
and just catch the next bus in 30 min.
Our bus pulled up and we got on.

To conclude the retelling of this adventure,
let it suffice to say
that there is now a tree,
somewhere between the bus stop we exited from and our home,
that has been watered by Kacin.
I know, I know.
I really have to stop letting him do that.
The world should not be his bathroom.
But we were desperate.

Overall, we had a pleasant experience with public transit
and all really enjoyed our afternoon out.

An Old Adage

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I'm not talking about people here though.

When I grew up in sunny Arizona,
and the rain would finally fall to the dry earth,
we would all bound outside to dance and splash in the puddles,
where we'd usually meet a few neighbors outside, too
all soaking up the rain.
The rain was a precious thing
and it made us happy when it came.
We had known the sun for so long.

I distinctly remember the first time I saw it snowing,
really snowing,
where it was falling, sticking and piling on the ground.
It was magic sprinkled all over our house in Utah.
But then after the first year in Utah,
I began to strongly dislike the snow.
It was so cold, so much, and stayed way too long
for my liking.
I thought I would never want it to snow again.

Washington life has been a lot of rainy, gray days.
Whenever the sun is shining,
we've gotten into the habit of
stopping whatever we're doing and we head outside
to the park, to the trampoline, to our bikes
anywhere where the sun will kiss our skin
and the day seems brighter.
Relief from a drab day came last night too.
Around 10:00pm.
In the form of snow.
The white that blanketed our neighborhood
brightened our street
and the snow regained its magicalness.
I couldn't resist it.
I dragged E outside with me,
not even bothering with my big coat and gloves.
Too bad the boys were sound asleep.
I was tempted to wake them up to come play, too.
We left our footprints in the fresh snow
and a few snowballs went flying.
And may have even smashed into my face.

I am fond of the snow again.

Family Focus and Goals

At FHE last night,
with a drumroll and a Ta-Da!,
we revealed our family's focus for 2011:

When I Choose the Right, I am Happy.

As we were deciding on our family's "theme" for 2011, our thoughts and discussions kept revolving around choices--the small and the big choices we make each day, the effect of our choices, and how to make right choices. Our boys are growing up so quickly and spending more and more time away from home. All too soon, they will both be in all-day school. They are becoming so independent and want to spend more time with friends, playing sports, and other activities. We also know that this year Kyler will be turning 8 years old. It will be time for him to choose whether or not to be baptized. We hope that by focusing together and learning about our choices, we will all be ready to make thoughtful choices and accept responsibility for our choices. We want to feel the joy that comes from making good choices.

Our goals this year include:

Family: study Preach My Gospel, hiking all the trails in our guide, singing the hymns at church, and reading The Chronicles of Narnia Series together
Kacin: read a chapter book, play the piano, stretch/yoga every day, and memorize 6 scriptures
Kyler: finish reading the Book of Mormon, create 5 different types of art (painting, drawing, pottery, etc.), stretch/yoga every day, and memorize 7 scriptures
Laura: play 3 hymns on the piano (not the made-easy ones), finish Personal Progress, study the life of Jesus Christ by reading the Gospels and Jesus the Christ by James E. Talmage, and run a 5k or some such thing
Eric: read the Book of Mormon and D&C in Portuguese, study for and take the GMAT, grill with 5 different recipes in the summer, and run a 5k or some such thing

Note: the stretch/yoga every day goal for the boys came because the boys each wanted a goal to exercise every day. Because E and I feel they are naturally very active and we play at the park, ride bikes, and play sports all the time anyways, we wanted them to do something a little different. We also hope that by doing some kids yoga they will learn strategies to help them relax, breathe, calm down, and increase their focus.

520 Feet Up

You would have thought we had just arrived at Disneyland
the way Kacin was jumping and shouting.
"Yay! We get to go up the Space Needle!
My first time up the Space Needle!!"
He was bouncing all over the place.
The people around us started laughing.
When we bought tickets and got him calm enough,
we walked up to the entrance and took the elevator
up to the top.

We Got Untalent

Family photo after the show

My favorite family tradition is our Untalent show.
We usually do it every year with my family on Christmas day.
Since we didn't go home this Christmas
we went ahead with the show
just us.
We kept it as entertaining as ever.
The program:
1. Eric, Kyler, and Kacin singing and dancing to "Candlelight" based on this youtube video.
My children really know most of the words, thank you Eric, and walk around singing it.
2. Kyler flipping onto the couch.
3. Kacin making up a song on the piano as he went
4. Laura played "O Holy Night" on the piano
5. Eric played "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" on the guitar
6. Kyler downing 5 Taco Bell sauce packets and no water
7. Kacin balancing on Laura's legs in the air while singing "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer"

Yep, we got untalent.

Legally Two

It's been two years since the boys became legally, officially ours and we became theirs. I love having this opportunity to reflect on and remember our adoption journey with the boys.

When we became licensed as foster parents, our first phone call for a placement was about these two little boys, ages 3 and 4. They had already been in foster care for about 8 months. They were looking for foster parents who could possibly adopt, since reunification with the birthparents was not very likely anymore. We had the opportunity to talk with their previous foster parents to understand the situation as much as possible and prepare for the transition. Since I was still teaching at the time, we arranged for the boys to come stay with us during Spring Break to make sure it was a good fit for everyone. The foster mom offered to email us a couple of pictures of the boys before we met them. Our hearts just melted when we saw them. We were amazed how much Kacin's little smile reminded us of a picture we had of me smiling at that age. We had a feeling this would be a good fit.

I will never ever forget the look on Eric's face the day we met the boys. The foster parents brought the kids to our house on a Sunday morning. We invited everyone in and showed the boys their rooms. The two little nervous energy balls of boys were jumping and flinging themselves around and down from everything (including an attempted cannonball from the top of the stairs). Before the foster parents left, I noticed how many times they reminded the boys of the rules: no hitting, listen, no spitting, no kicking, listen, no bad words, no yelling, listen etc. It didn't take us long to figure out why they did this. Eric had that deer in the headlights look for the rest of the day.

Since I was an Early Childhood Education graduate in my 3rd year of teaching 1st grade, with my whole life spent babysitting, nannying, working in daycare, preschools, and schools, I thought I was so prepared. But we both had to adjust to being "the parents". I remember the moment when the boys started jumping on the couch. Eric and I looked at each other and one of us asked, "Can they do that?" Since being married, neither of us had tried that one. We had a lot of house rules to decide on. When we finally went to sleep that night, we were both exhausted and a little anxious, yet very happy.

We fell in love with the boys instantly. We loved playing with them and discovering their personalities. Kacin had a contagious smile and an obsession with cars and balls. He could throw the biggest tantrums of all time and had quite the mouth. Kyler was much more thoughtful and loved to play with puzzles, read, and ride his bike. He was also very sneaky and afraid to show any emotion or allow anyone else to love him, or he them. At the end of the day though, their hugs and smiles and peacefully sleeping faces transformed all of the big challenges of the day into small obstacles we could easily step over.

However, I can't even tell you how many times Eric and I lay in bed at night wondering if we were making the right decision to bring these children into our home and to love them. We didn't know how long they would actually be with us. We wondered if we did have the opportunity to adopt, could we help them overcome their challenges, and the challenges of all of us becoming a family? Were we the right parents for them?

Our doubts quickly disappeared as everything fell into place. We knew that yes, we were not perfect parents and this was going to be hard, but we were completely committed no matter what. We really, truly loved and cared for these little boys.

When the boys were placed with us, it was because they needed parents who could adopt them if that time came. The goal for them was really no longer reunification with their birthparents. However, we still had sporadic visits with their birthfather for awhile and a lot of court hearings and decisions before anything would be final. The boys had a lot of questions during this time. We explained everything as best as we could in the most kid-friendly language we could use.

We had the most supportive neighbors, family, and friends through everything. There was a gradual transition from the sweet foster parents to us. Since I was still teaching, and needed to finish out the school year, we had the boys on the weekends, and then, for the last few weeks of the school year, we had them full-time and the foster mom watched them just while I was working (I gained such a respect for all working and single moms). The boys were welcomed by everyone around us. Eric and I felt supported and grateful to talk to many different people who had similar experiences and could relate with some of the things we were going through. It also made all the difference that our own families seemed to not even think twice about accepting these boys with love and open arms. Everyone was excited they would be part of the family.

Eventually, the birthparents both relinquished their rights. It was one of the most emotional experiences I have ever had to sit in that court room, to see the birthfather's face, and hear his statement to relinquish his parental rights. I know that he loved our boys tremendously. That's why he did it. Because he loved them and recognized that he was not in a place in his life to properly take care of them. But he wanted them to be happy and have opportunities in their lives. He put his trust in me and Eric to love them and be their parents. (The birthmother had previously relinquished so we weren't a part of that.) No matter what their birthparents mistakes have been or where they are at in their lives today, Eric and I feel such a deep, special love for and connection to their birthparents.

That period between relinquishment and finalization was a bit stressful. Court dates were moved all around. People were appealing to the court, but being turned away for obvious reason. But we were finally given an adoption day. And that made such a difference in our little family. We all relaxed.

From day one, the boys had been calling us by our first names. They had called their previous foster parents by their first names. We were the new foster parents to them, with no other children in our home. They were still having contact with their birthparents. It was all pretty shaky at times as to what would happen. So we were always just called Eric and Laura. When we had a day set for finalization, and after a lot of thought and prayer, we gathered the boys to us and had a name discussion. We had already had lots of conversations about adoption and what it meant. In this conversation, we invited them to call us mom and dad. We told them the new, special names we had chosen for them. It was a beautiful conversation and a turning point in our relationship. It made everything real. It helped the boys relax and know that we were a forever family.

Our adoption day came. A few good friends shared the experience with us. And it became official when the boys each signed their names and hit the desk with the gavel and proclaimed "I'm adopted!" (oh yeah, the judge said it was so, too).

It's crazy to think that only two years have passed. The boys are such a part of our lives. I am amazed when I think about how far we've all come. The boys are doing so well--so happy and growing into such wonderful people. It just blows me away to think about the dad Eric was that first day and the dad he is today--he's so patient, wise, and fun, and can discipline in a firm, loving way. He is an absolutely perfect father now.

Many people have tried to tell us that the boys are lucky to have us, but we both know we are the lucky ones to have had this experience to adopt them. Our adoption journey with the boys has been one of much learning and growth, but mostly love.

A Letter to the Man in Red

Dear Santa,
We enjoyed seeing you at daddy's work party. Thank you so much for the harmonica's and candy canes! We love them and play them all the time. They are cool. We're so excited that you're going to come on Christmas. We will make you cookies. Do you like chocolate chip or gingerbread men? Can we please each have a desk and silly bands? And can our desks have a lamp on it and drawers? Kyler wants Geronimo Stilton books, please. Maybe in the drawer or something. Kacin wants scissors or art stuff please (in my drawers.) We think you are a cool guy. Thank you!!

Love,
Kyler and Kacin

per Kyler
P.S. Can mommy have a lamp for the piano, please? And can daddy have Harry Potter stuff, please?

O Christmas Tree

We decided to go green this year
and save an artificial tree.
We ventured to the mountains and the snow
in search of
the
Christmas Tree.

It didn't go quite as E and I pictured it.
To our memory,
this was the first time we've ever gotten a real Christmas tree.
And honestly
I think that we both thought
we could just drive out to the forest,
park alongside a flat road,
walk 30 feet to a grove of Christmas trees,
arranged somewhat like a pumpkin patch,
then frolic among the trees,
comparing our options,
and choose the one that called to us.
It doesn't exactly work like that.
It went more like
winding slippery snow covered roads
a hike up a trail
Eric and one of the other guys
left us girls and kids behind
and went off the path to try to find
a tree--
any tree--
that could be Christmas-esque.
We waited
a long time.

Granted,

we had some of the most

lovely, breath-taking surroundings.

And it was pretty impressive

the way Kacin's tongue could lap up the snow.

We did a little sledding down the road.

Eventually,

My manly man E

chopped down a tree

and carried it down the mountainside

back to us.

Adorned with ornaments and lights,
it is the most Christmasy tree
we could ever want.